Professional Development

by Jigs

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1.	Professional Development 02:49	lyrics	buy track
Yeah, this professional development Is not about directing validation of my relevance, Or meant to be selling me as refereed intelligence. The Lesson Plan’s ahead of it. Complete your prerequisite. I Seem to search for the best in me. A testament To those who see the best in me before me. My descendants Of a history of people that be tryna set the precedent of Treating each piece of humanity as delicate. Empathy has yet to be center of our temperament. Society will let us temporarily address it But if dialect is temporary, change will become secondary To the newest commentary we become obsessed with. Reflection, when a regimen, is medicine to rest in. So then when they come in questioning, we know the best in Us will fly the truest of the colors that we represent. I highly recommend it. Check it… Yeah this professional development is… “Where emotion and language develop.” Yeah this professional development is… “Masterful narratives using rap.” Yeah this professional development is… “A way of being and a way of thinking.” Yeah this professional development is… Ask the questions to yourself. It’s that reflection that will help us Learn together. Grow together. Live together. Aye, Kari! Bring it back like… Ask the questions to yourself. It’s that reflection that will help us Learn together. Grow together. Live together. Professional development. Yeah this professional development is… “It’s the dialogue, it’s the conversation.” Yeah this professional development is… “It’s the being angry at what your friend is going through.” Yeah this professional development is… “How I can show up for them in the spaces that they’re not allowed.” Yeah this professional development is… For us “To listen.” Yeah. Yeah this professional development Is meant to be a weapon when you step into the elements. Don’t ever underestimate the power of a sentence. Each and every one of us can move a mountain with a message. She could be 22, a woman with a speech impediment Slammin spoken word, inaugurating a new president. Begin to heal a nation that’s been plagued with racial prejudice Embedded in its history that benefits supremacists. Now, now don’t mistake me for a pessimist Who’s easily offended. See, I see it like I tell it. Education is the key to close the empathetic deficits And polarizing tension bound to blow up any second. It’s... Less about what we said, but what we meant from it. But know that our progression isn’t driven by intention. It Requires heavy action, even heavier reflection. Not to mention some of this… Professional development.
2.	Young (Feat. BlockSix) 03:14	lyrics	buy track
You know, we’ve gotten pretty good at playing monkey in the middle. But we’re bigger now and now that middle monkey isn’t really all that little. Playing keep away with secrets that we keep inside Or sweep inside the closet so to keep ‘em where our demons hide. Yup. Yup, but just because we’re human Doesn’t mean we can’t pursue to fix a lot more than we ruin. We plague our generations with the ancient ugly weight Of facing off to play a game of tag, with politics and race. When we hate, we bait with the most hideous of influence Rope in a mass of idiots and now it’s getting serious. Opinions are developed, a reflection of experience. Bigotry is hidden but it’s really not mysterious. I gain optimism cuz the youth is on track. They don’t make decisions from divisions of the past. Say It’s your time now, this time let’s not go back. So keep your love at the center from the start. I bet you’ll find we’re Better when together, not apart. Now let your mind Grow forever and stay young at heart. Our connection is the greatest type of art. It’s by design We’re better when together, not apart. Now let your mind Grow forever and stay young at heart. Okay, now let us kick it with a game of kick the can to kick the habit. Let the bottom of my kicks crush the can as if to flatten The past hate. Don’t wanna pass it on because I’m past it. Centuries of prejudice should educate the masses. But they haven’t. Yeah. Talk about tragic… To talk about a different history is not a tactic, It’s truth reimagined. A counter to the classic Romanticized account of how the writers say it happened. The fact is, we got a lot we got in common. Although politics divide us, know that unity’s an option. Compromise and listen even if it means with caution. Stay out the comment section. Speak to real people often. Cuz we are not about a world divided And we are all about an open mind Aye, let em know we grow We won’t go back this time. So keep your love at the center from the start. I bet you’ll find we’re Better when together, not apart. Now let your mind Grow forever and stay young at heart. Our reflection is the greatest type of art. It’s by design We’re better when together, not apart. Now let your mind Grow forever and stay young at heart. Everybody go, “Oh, oh, oh.” And everybody say, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” And everybody go, “Oh, oh, oh.” And everybody say, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Now, let me hear you go, “Oh, oh, oh.” And let me hear you say, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I’m saying everybody Grow forever and stay young at heart. We feeling good like, “Oh, oh, oh.” We feel alive like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” We loving life like, “Oh, oh, oh.” We living life like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” And we growing like, “Oh, oh, oh.” And you know it like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I’m saying everybody Grow forever and stay young at heart. Aye, Let us all grow together and stay young at heart.
3.	The Places We'll Go 03:22	lyrics	buy track
(Can we go?) Oh! The places we’ll go… If we could… Oh! The places we’ll go… If we just… Oh! The places we’ll go… If we would… Oh! The places we’ll go… If we just… Shut up for a minute. Listen, every opinion Just doesn’t need to be written in stone and shared through the internet. Put a sock in your mouth, and now shove your phone in there with it. Cuz you’ve been running your mouth and you need to plug it, admit it. Now, who you tryna convince? It’s not a high school debate. (Boy, sit down) In the history of the internet no mind has been changed From a comment that counters the kind of common complaints We can’t help but consume until we’re blue in the face. I mean, imagine what would happen if you talked to a person. You must be sophophobic, terrified of actually learning. (Look it up) Be careful what you work for you might actually earn it; And what you wish on other people you might actually deserve. It Isn’t that complicated. We just over debate it. It isn’t that calculated… Wait, oh what am I saying? The whole premise of the internet is manipulation. And every like will fill the ego til it’s over inflated. And POP. Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to scroll away your time. You’re off an away. If you got brains in your head, you better put em to use cuz everybody’s tryna tell you which direction to choose. I’m sayin… Practice what we preach. I thought we learned this in preschool… Treat people as our equal so we’re golden is the rule. We disagree. The truth is in between me, you, And everybody else’s view the world’ll be seen through. Just know there comes a time when agreeing is necessary Without it we bound to be headed straight to the cemetery. To speak in superlatives guarantees an emergence Of all our weakest emotions. And so we call in our military. But (Can we go back?) No scratch that… Cuz that back’s Like a bad rash, it’ll spread when you scratch. That Narrative is toxic, contagious, and you can catch it. So quit scratching and pass on the backtracking. Keep moving forward for survival of society. The science of sovereignty lies in violent rivalries. If the people decide to be unified and can mindfully Listen to a new a point of view. We will grow. Finally. But… My condolences, I’m sorry to say… We’ll be chained inside this cage until the day that we change. If you like J’s on your feet, you better lace up your shoes Because somebody’s gotta kick it off. It’s time that we move. I’m saying… You know we… We going places. We got places to go! My homies… We going places. We got places to go! We going… We going places. We got places to go! You know we… We going places. We got places to go! We learning… We going places. We got places to go! We growing… We going places. We got places to go! We living… We going places. We got places to go! Let’s get it… We going places. We got places to go! Ayo…
4.	Complacent 03:25	lyrics	buy track
Don’t be complacent. Change it. Sick of searching for a reason, just to fake it. Sick of sparring with your demons in the basement. Sick of living in the same situation. Don’t be complacent. Change it. You can only reach a goal when you chase it, Take advantage of a chance when you take it. Be the greatest on a path when you blaze it. Don’t be complacent. Change it. Let your voice be the spirit waking up a generation. Painting with your words. Gaining strength in every statement. Impatiently waiting for something greater? Then make it happen. To want the buzzer beater shot is chasing the greatest that You can be. I understand there’s comfort in havens And all that trauma is a monster guaranteed to be slating Your every move as you pursue to furnish all your vacancies Bound to turn you into unturnable pages. Try to use frustration as a method of meditation. Erasing impatience, replacing it with the greatest of faith In God. Through darkness light up any temptation That’s try’na drag you back into a place of self-medication. That’s faking progress and making problems. Don’t wanna awaken The sleeping giant of the past. Think about what he’s taken. And When you’re racing towards an obstacle which angle are you facing it? You gotta face it. Don’t be complacent. Change it. Turn the tables. A pessimist to an optimist. Switch up labels. A negative to a positive. Jumper cables. A shocking twist to the plot of this Well known fable. But change is not always obvious When it’s painful. Be careful, losing the best of you Can be fatal. But pursuing the best in you If you’re able will then uncover the treasure. Discover grateful. Just be grateful. Thankful. Aye. Life is rocky when nobody laid the pavement. So be a steamroller and find a way to pave it. Know that doubt is like a paycheck. Save it. Donate 10,000 hours into greatness. Write a story so nobody can erase it. Keep you focus on your power not your payments. You got a God-given gift, so don’t waste it. Above it all, don’t be complacent. Change it.
5.	Fake Smile (Feat. Sara Staley) 04:18	lyrics	buy track
Together darkness seems a little bit brighter And the weight is lighter. Now, more than ever when all you want is to feel better, I hope you know You’re not alone. You’re not alone. I hope you know You’re not alone. Just keep breathing now. Stay a minute in moment let it all fall down Around you. Breathe and exhale it behind you. When your lost, know I’m looking and I’ll find you. Let it go. Set it free. Sit and talk it out with me Know I’ll be in a seat there beside you. I believe in you cuz I’ve been those shoes And I know that you’re gonna pull through. I can empathize with the pain that has stayed wet in your eyes. We don’t advertise so we hide behind these walls that have led to our own demise. People analyze and Abandoned us multiple times. They stranded us. Shoulda seen the signs. Now it seems like we live and die by the knife. But I’m sick of that lie so it ends tonight. Just… Just don’t suffocate. I got nowhere to be and we got time to waste. You know it seems to me that you could use a break. So lose the fake smile on your face. Know It’s okay to be down and break. And in the middle of it all if you start to shake Breathe in, breathe out. If it’s hard to take, Be here. Be now. Let it fade away. Been traumatized with the hand you were dealt. It compromised how normal felt. I Wanna emphasize that it’s not your fault. I wanna end the lies and the plot default. See, stigma is real. You don’t need to see it To be a good friend. I’ll make you believe In yourself cuz you got it inside you to beat it Or minimally live with the moments to leave it behind. Leave it behind. Leave it behind you. Leave it behind. Take a deep breath And breathe it behind you. Leave it behind. Take it a day at a time. Even when you feel better you know that I’m there. (Facts.) It’s not about rushing. The daily grind hustle is tough and will cause us to wear. (Down) The darkness inside instigator arises. And know that it doesn’t fight fair. The darkness we face gets locked in our stare Then chases us down and becomes (run) Addictive, depressive, vindictive, Invasive, complacent it stays and takes over our systems. It plays with emotions like gaming controllers To hijack our actions and turn us to victims. You gotta be sick of it. In the thick of it. Treatment is sticky but we gotta stick with it. Know through the pain all you need to get through it is... Knowing you can do it. (You’re not alone) It’s a part of us that we can’t ignore. It’s a part of us, but it’s not the core. It’s the worst in us but to us there’s more Than the worst in us. So we fight the war That’ll hold us back from the best in us. And do our best not to let it get the best of us. I get upset to address that the rest of us Need to prove it like a test. I attest to us. Just... Just keep doing you. Know that everybody else knows darkness too. But when we end up hiding the darkest rooms, Then we end up fighting with the farthest truth. When it’ll hit, fight back with the light. Don’t even look back, just leave it behind. And when it gets hard, we lead with the light. Take a deep breath and believe you can leave it behind.
6.	The Kid 03:29	lyrics	buy track
Aye, have you heard of this kid? He’s the latest and greatest. He’s gonna make it to the top, there’s no point in debating it. Better catch ‘em while you can cuz he’s flirting with famous. And yeah it’s cool to say you knew him long before that he made it. I heard he’s dating that girl from his Instagram page. She got like seven million followers, and a check by her name. He mighta changed but it’s worth it for the person he became. You can’t stay the same and back the magnitude of these claims. Check the records he’s breaking. The money he’s making The hands that he’s shaking in all the pics that’s taking. The new awareness he’s raising. The lives that he’s changing. The fans that he’s gaining, and they can’t even explain it, He’s just got what they’re craving and they’re impatiently waiting To hear the words that he’s saying. To cop the drip that he’s draping. To see the moves that he’s making amidst the game that he’s playing. The path that he’s paving is pretty amazing. You better know who the kid is. He’s on top of the planet. Things are panning out as perfect. It’s the work that he planted. It’s the way that he planned it to get the status he landed. Ignore the cautionary tales of those who take it for granted. Cuz what could possible happen when the room that you stand in Has been advertised to you as made of bulletproof glass, and The circle that you band with swear that they’ve got your back and Are loyal to your brand, so much so that they’re branded. And now he’s gotta expand it. What other choice does he have? It’s either infinitely growing or you quickly collapse. Just lose yourself in the moment. Forget the you of the past. Give the people what they want. It’s just supply and demand. You can demand the supply, when the world’s in your hands. The party never runs out. The night is always outran. On the track of endless laps trying to lap what he has Thinking happiness is just a lap away on the track. You hear what happened to this kid? I can’t believe what he did… He’s a fraud. He’s a cheater. He deserves what he gets. They say the come-up is hard. The fallout can be quick, And be removed in a click. Just like deleting a pic. Millions in cash, and a couple million of fans. Went and vanished like the rabbit going back in the hat Cuz all that magic has passed, it got mixed up in the trash With all the promises of those who once swore on his brand. Nothing selling hotter than the flames of a crash. See the remnants of potential, media artifacts. His legacy will be remembered as a trend that didn’t last An almost-was, never-quite, has-been of the past. Not blowing smoke when they cough, just implying he choked. Chasing status will destroy you when it’s all that you know. All that money’s been spent. People think that he’s a joke. I guess his reputation’s not the only thing that is broke. Realizing happiness is somewhere in the place you call home.
7.	I Just Wanna Be Okay 04:26	lyrics	buy track
Well lately I’ve been saying that... This isn’t about greatness. It’s not me tryna make it. This can’t be overstated: Attention’s overrated. My aim is about paying less attention to my payments And raise up student voice over my bank account statements. Chasing fame is not a game I’m tryna play in I’d rather remain nameless than fake my way to famous. The praises of a millionn strangers aren’t enough save us. Not even stadiums can validate like faith does. Yeah. We stuck in searching for the painless days But to gain em, go discover where the pain will stay. It’s hidden in the faces that we omit everyday No stopping and talking we seem more comfortable to walk away. Yeah. But what if everything just walked away? All the make up that you use to cover up mistakes. If I’m honest, when my skies have turned the darkest grays, Well, I just wanna be okay. I just wanna be okay. I’m facing off with my mistakes. They’re all around me. Staying humble, wide awake. It’s not about me. When all the lights’ll fade away You’ll see the real me When all that’s left to do is pray I just wanna be Yeah I just wanna be Okay. Lately I’ve been feeling like... This isn’t about legacy, or chasing destiny. It’s bringing out the best in me. And yet my mirror enemies Hold on to lonely memories, that seem to get to me. And they could be the end of me... if I let em be. But my story’s not a hopeless type of tragedy. The only thing that threatens me is losing my identity. The penalty of losing who I am and all I’m meant to be Is deadly to the point of guaranteed to be the death of me. Yeah. Seems like if everyone was being honest, We’d admit that we’re addicted to the people’s comments. We go to battle for the drama and the thrill of conflict. Actually talking would be too difficult so we don’t stop it. Yeah. But when the fame and phones will fade away, Watch the replay of the things that I would do and say. When all I’m left with is myself to face, I just wanna be okay.
8.	Normal 03:35	lyrics	buy track
This can’t be normal… No, this isn’t normal… The American scheme. Manipulating in the mainstream. The main theme as of lately is faking. Claiming to be on the same team then aim to Betray teammates to get the fame. We do the same thing but wonder why we don’t change. Stay up late thinking about the words we don’t say. All of this is not without a consequence Our incompetence to face our mistakes could be gravely. This is to prepare you. Not tryna scare you. A shooter coming soon to a city near you Is a fear that we share. Too often feel impaired to Prevent it cuz the culture and the law’s gotta care too, And not be scared to change it. But I get it. There’s already plenty people who refuse to be different. And who choose to be ignorant and move their opinions On the truth. What they really need to do is listen. BRIDGE: Normal is lying. Normal is cheating. Normal is dying, Shootings and screaming. Normal is wasting. Normal is condoned. Normal is hating That which we don’t know. This can’t be normal… My God, is this normal? This can’t be normal… No, this isn’t normal… Mental health is not fun to mess with. Health is fundamental. Normal is suppression. Coping is essential. What’s it’s gonna take to become a new vessel? Helping people break through, believing in their potential. Essentially, we haven’t even turned a corner. A closed mind is a permanently closed border. And closed boarders lead to dangerously close quarters. And chaos when the court is out of order… Normal is ignoring when the normal is tragic. Suicidal kids and the seas are made of plastic. Cancel culture’s bound to put you on the blacklist. The least we can do is not shooting up the masses. I’ve had it. Keep pretending this is average. Imagine if we helped rather than doing damage. Do a bit better each day, then surpass it. Normal shouldn’t take time to take action. Normal is spying. Normal is creeping. Normal’s denying And clearly misleading. Normal is taking. Normal is fighting. Normal is faking. and selfishly whining. When you normalize it, realize that Danger lies when you quit tryna fight back. Ambition dies when you quit tryna fight back. We pay the price when you quit tryna fight back. But tired eyes open wide when you fight back. What had died comes alive when you fight back. Broken lives get revived when you fight back. And inside you’re alright cuz you fight back. When you normalize it, realize that… Realize that you gotta fight back.
9.	Professional Burnout 02:22	lyrics	buy track
Yo I wanna recognize everybody who did not inspire this song. I see you. I don’t know if I can do this anymore. Anymore. I’m a teacher. So you know I’m making bank. JK. Say that with a straight face. Guess I’m making above the minimum wage. Working a hundred and eighty days. It isn’t great, but this isn’t about complaining about the pay. Bout to vent it and condense it to a minute or two thinking about the max the average attention span can do. Helping our youth discover the truth. Fighting to find a way to get through To students while I compete with rabbit holes on YouTube. And Phone addiction itching for a couple of hours of game play. Taking a bathroom break for the 84th time today. Either way, it’s the same thing. Avoidance is to chronic As the chronic is to avoidance. Think about it. My lesson on trauma interrupted by a lockdown. Ironic, the need to catch up makes em more likely to drop out. Our systems are to blame but only to blame them is a cop out When working in the system, we are the people that we need to call out. The burnout and fallout from micromanaging us all. Been making an effort to call home but nobody will return a call, Or email. All that’s left for me to do is let them do the work. The key to doing work is “do.” Can’t take the dirty out of dirt. Parents thinking that they’re preparing kids with pressure to be elite. But perfect will never be worth the lost learning in defeat. See? Certainly support accountability is a two way street. Your counselor can tie your shoes but only you can move your feet. Consider that we we need could be a little bit more consideration Critical thinking paired with empathy equals an education. Answer it with balance, life requires moderation. My frustration is sporadic, yet requires liberation. So God Bless everybody in the building. Looking to make a difference only matters if you’re willing. Here’s to sticking around long enough to save the Titanic from sinking. Bombs away. It’s been a day. And now I’m left here thinking… Well… I got that off my chest. Let’s get back to work.
10.	Redemption / Irredeemable 04:18	lyrics	buy track
They sold their souls as clean but secretly had cheap intentions. Misplaced my compass, so please pardon me, I need directions. Relearn our history as means of seeking out redemption. Cuz now I see that I was wrong… Nobody wanna be written to play the villain or killer But spend a minute in the mirror. Take a deep look. Everybody is criminal to a certain village. Every now and then we need to vision all that we took. Know I’m cooking up to be a better person, better version of me. Learn before I speak, as so to precook. Marinating on my listening. Envisioning my learning. History is therapy. I need to read books. Running research. Tryna relearn what they told me and always sold me. I want a return. But they deterred and deferred me to the old seeds. But they don’t seem to dig em any deeper. Gonna be served what they deserve while they coldly try to hold me down into a revert. But the Teacher’s the Redeemer. And He taught me in between either or there’s a neither. The more I learn the more I understand historic tension. It’s egocentric to believe that I had seen the lesson. I’m moving on improvements. No excuse or loaded questions. Just wish I’d seen this all along…. The devil’s in the details… And my history book wrote it heavenly, deleted all the details. I’m not buying it, like a presale. We’re the Target to their lies like it’s retail. Read it and weep, their history still exists. Start by digging in deep, don’t skim it cheap like an email. LGBTQ, the influence of Black Lives, Natives, the #MeToo resiliency of females. Yeah. How bout the under-mentioned-represented, immigrant detention center history of non-Whites? Ugh. Our nation’s got a reputation so notorious of hating a progression from the old times. Yeah. See the trials of the broken-down and beaten have been cheated. Outrage should be outright. It’s about time for redemption and correction. So we start by doing what is right. Like… When the masses don’t know what happened to the non dominant cultures back in the day It’ll pass on to the next generation And erase em, taking their place on the page. Where we are right now’s where we came from. Now in the name of doing what they should have in the first place Start doing what is right. Stop tryna save face. Listen.. Start doing what is right. Stop doing what is easy. Start doing it now… Imagine… The last great American travesty of fatally misidentifying the enemy is over. After lifetimes of hunting the so-called “mythological hypocrisy,” it has been seen and captured. Millions reflect in realized disbelief. Generations of hostile rivalries for those who support the opposite parent of purple, disintegrate. Laid to rest with polarizing yard signs and hateful Facebook comments. The greatest truths to ever be shared by the masses: Empathy over enemy. Compassion over coercion. Humility over pride become the New law. The identity of a common enemy was named but only after having tasted what is right and just and having ventured beyond the curtain. The smog clears over the wild, wild western world and they pick their heads up, seeing each other for the very first time. The Redeemer smiles.
11.	Said & Done 03:36	lyrics	buy track
The world has ended. It’s raining embers And all I’m left with is all I’ve done. I was so much better but caved to pressure To hide who I’ve become. I’m not perfect, and I don’t wanna be. I just wanna live and make everyday worth living Now, I just wanna give all I have and be more giving. But lately it’s my grip that is worn and I keep slipping. I keep wishing that when it’s time His plans will line up. The skies will light up and I will rise up. And God will not judge me based on my flaws But based on my love. I wish this because yeah A day will come when all this is all gone time I spent deflecting my wrongs will be Done. Let me face them like the man I wanna be. I wanna own up to the moments that don’t reflect me. What I say should align with all I believe in All that I do should too. True to teaching. It’s who I am. And so here I stand. I’ll change what I can. Accept what I can’t. When the times comes, to identify our demons, Clean out the closet and sweep out the secrets, Sky’s turning orange and air seems uneven, I hope I got a good reason... To defend what I did, even more what I didn’t. Every minute that I hid in my invented image Was the catalyst, the wall, that kept my best hidden. I’ve been battling this call, like I didn’t know The air is heavy. The streets are empty. It’s time to let me face who I was I just pray you rest me in your best memory When all is said and done. You know at some point, I’m gonna need to admit it. Though I did it in the dark, it won’t always keep it hidden. Even if I get away, it doesn’t mean that I’ma get it. Can deny and lie about my life but I’m the one that’s living in it. Give it a minute. If I give in to the habit It’s a matter of a minute til I notice that I added to the List of my actions that I wish that I hadn’t. Man... I wish that I hadn’t. But I did and I now it’s time that I own it. Live and learn and act like I know what’s Right. Release the darkness I hold Inside so I can in time let go. Let light create the life that I’ve wanted. Truth and lies can fight all they want but I’m the one deciding what I want Well... What do I want?
12.	Overloading 03:54	lyrics	buy track
Well... I guess I finally figured out what I should have said... It only took a couple days of battling my head. Going head to head with the side of me that prolly shouldn’ta lied to me By telling me it’s pointless to be seeing red. So I beat it dead. Suppressed the past madness Turn to shreds compressed inside my mattress. It’s Ironic that I fight the fact I’m passive. I’m passed the point. Back and forth I’ve had it. Yeah. Yeah there’s gotta be a limit There can only be so many times I pass on while I’m in it. I believe eventually I’ll own it, stand up, show I get it I can hold myself accountable, let others know I’m with em. If I’m giving you a pass, I enable you as average. Letcha off the hook, but that’ll cause some damage. Set you up to grow, but it’s gotta be a challenge. You’ll learn to be a man if you deal and learn to manage. Right? Well.. I don’t know. I ain’t gotta be to be so hard. I could just let it go. No! No you can’t let it go. You gotta say something. How else they gonna know? Just... Just step up with the courage. Put your thoughts into words and Get up out of your head. You know what you shoulda said... Yeah but it’s too much in the moment. My mind goes blank and my heart starts running. I stand there quietly and wait another minute then a minute goes by and I still said nothing. Are you kidding me? What is wrong with me? I can see but not become who I long to be. I need a longer reach so I can reach in deep And find a better me hiding deep inside of me. Just wanna say goodbye. It’s been a long time coming. 3, 2, 1, I’ma hit the ground running. I’ma never looking back. Cannonball! Bout to jump in Or I’m bound to do nothing. Just gonna say goodbye. Up on a whole new summit. Knock. Knock. Knock. Opportunity? Come in. If I think about it without acting then it’s nothing. So I’ll act on something. Now I know I’m bound to go around my head And back and forth and back again. It’s just the way that it is. Although it’s getting me dizzy and a little bit sick I like the feeling of busy. But the riddle of it is tell me what do you call somebody so uplifting that it leads to their downfall? You’re listening to him right now. What people wanna see as the better part of me’s got me tied down. You tell me that you want me to believe that I shouldn’t make a scene. Well I’m struggling to see that. Be who you wanna be. Well I’m struggling to be that. I’m lost in a sea of thoughts... Can you believe that? Yeah. It’s a little too late. People know me. They expect me to be this way. Change is a funny thing. A Normal part of life. Why’s it gotta be so hard when it happens all the time? But…. Yeah. I don’t wanna face it now. I don’t wanna show my face in the middle of the crowd. Now... what about laying low? No! Stand up. How else they gonna know? Just... just do what is right. This is black and white. Get up out of your head. I already told you what you shoulda said! Slow it down. I gotta think about it. But do it now in My head. Like a Rosie I’ma ring around it. We falling down in My head. People tell me I should write about it, an episode in my head. But the more I go and think about, I’m Overloading My head.
13.	Maybe 03:45	lyrics	buy track
Times change. I guess we’ve been going through quite a bit lately. Holding rose colored umbrellas won’t make it stop raining. Tryna start a family for years. We pray to God daily. But all we know is maybe. Next month, maybe… Maybe… Maybe God has a plan He put this pen in my hand and knows the man that I am. I’d give it all that I have, to try to be like my dad, Who gave me all that he had, even the shirt off his back. It’s getting harder the longer and farther all of it seems. Finding faith is a roller coaster, a toll on our dreams. A couple positives lines, a couple positive weeks, A couple positive times, but no sign of a heartbeat. I know so many, so much longer than us Waiting for maybe to now turn into their turn. Hope it does. We may miscarry but we carry on the hope that once was. And know our grief is just nowhere to go with all of our love. I’m well aware that nothing’s promised. I’m well aware that parenthood may be the hardest part. I’m well aware. Trust me. I’m well aware. Yeah. I’m well aware that I’ve got a lot of life to be lived And that my purpose on this Earth won’t be solely through my kids. I’m well aware. There’s nothing fair about it, and I don’t care if you don’t care about it… She’d be the greatest mom to do it, there’s no doubt about it. My faith is newly founded. Although we’ve been without it, It’s never far from our hearts when we pray about it. And still, the road ahead is overwhelming. Overflow of tough decisions, seemingly unending. Well-intended people doing harm instead of helping. Desperate for the answers cuz the questions keep us guessing… What can we do? What can we say? Where can we go? Who knows a way? What did they do? What did they pay? How many disappointing years of maybes did it take? Cuz at this point, it’s got me feeling like this never May just be our new forever. And I’m sick of it. Now more than ever we could use a win. We could use a win. Yeah. Mind you… I’m well aware that this is honest. And that adoption is an option that the heart has gotta want. I’m well aware. Trust me. I’m well aware. Yeah. I’m well aware that even if we never get the chance Our stories will be written and finished by God’s hand. I’m well aware. That perspective comes in time. And what’s meant to be will be. But for now we’re stuck in maybe. Who’s to say what’s wrong or right. I really hope it’s meant to be, But for now we’re stuck in maybe. Now we’re stuck in maybe. Going through it lately. Praying on the daily. All we know is maybe. Holding hope is draining. Roses don’t stop raining. What once seemed innately Now is stuck in maybe
14.	Let It Happen 05:46	lyrics	buy track
A season theme of change. I’m just coming of age With God’s invitation to the next stage. Just let it happen. Just let it happen. There’s no need to be afraid. I’m not running away. What’s meant to be is written on the next page. Just let it happen. Just let it happen. I’m letting go. Just let it happen. And I’m at peace. Just let it happen. Listen… Just let it happen. On the horizon is autumn. The end of summer is coming. Look in her eyes and I see that we both are tired from running. We’ve been repeating this trauma but this all wasn’t for nothing. And like the season that’s coming each single fall was for something. It’s been a journey to say the least. A mission to slay our beast. Been charting the choppy seas and asking for God to please Give the opportunity while praying was new to me. But now it’s routine and I see His work getting through to me. It’s been slowly but surely we put the pro into progress. The pro in proceed and pro in process. Put the pro in protect emotions through conflict. Put the pro into propose and pro into promise. Put the dream into dream team. Together we got this. Why should I be afraid when I know nothing can stop us? When I’m not at my best, I rest assured that our God is. In light my faith, I’m not alone in this darkness. I’m not alone in this darkness… Anxiety goes round and cycles are pointless. It quite literally won’t stop impairing my choices. Somehow inside of me, I’ve been avoiding avoidance. And in facing my fate I’m finally free from that poison. That’s the funny thing about it, see, surrounding control Is what has rendered reconciliation, bettering my soul. And now, in doing so I’m stepping up outside my deepest holes. Instead of reaching for escape I’m reaching all my steepest goals. Give the credit, take the blame. Offer help. Feel the pain. It’s okay. They can wait. When you’re wrong take the grace. When you’re right, give the grace. Either way, it’s the same. Everybody needs somebody who will love them though their pain. But know that shame is a fake, it will lie to your face. It will try to convince you that you are who you hate. But you’re not who you are at your worst. Take a break. Everybody should be loved not be judged by mistakes That we make. It’s amazing how much gratitude can change you. Just about as much as spreading shameless hate can taint you. Blessid with the gift of God, it’s written in my name too. That’s Matthew. And I’m becoming who I’m made to Be. I wanna be the greatest father that I can be. And be a hero. Live up to my middle name of Stanley. And be the greatest teacher. Give my students something lasting. And be the greatest husband. Give my wife a life that’s happy. No matter what is coming, I’ll take it all in stride. I pray this baby will be healthy with mama by their side. I pray they grow to know what love is and place it over pride. And they can say they always tried to live a purpose-driven life. It’s been a rough couple years, I’d say it’s been the hardest Chapter. But my story is just barely getting started. The tunnel is ongoing. The light is still the target. It’s temporary. I’m not alone in this darkness. We’re not alone in this darkness.