Overloading

from Professional Development by Jigs

	/

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lyrics

Well...
I guess I finally figured out what I should have said...
It only took a couple days of battling my head.
Going head to head with the side of me that prolly shouldn’ta lied to me
By telling me it’s pointless to be seeing red.
So I beat it dead. Suppressed the past madness
Turn to shreds compressed inside my mattress.
It’s Ironic that I fight the fact I’m passive.
I’m passed the point. Back and forth I’ve had it.
Yeah. Yeah there’s gotta be a limit
There can only be so many times I pass on while I’m in it.
I believe eventually I’ll own it, stand up, show I get it
I can hold myself accountable, let others know I’m with em.
If I’m giving you a pass, I enable you as average.
Letcha off the hook, but that’ll cause some damage.
Set you up to grow, but it’s gotta be a challenge.
You’ll learn to be a man if you deal and learn to manage.

Right? Well.. I don’t know.
I ain’t gotta be to be so hard. I could just let it go.
No! No you can’t let it go.
You gotta say something. How else they gonna know? Just...
Just step up with the courage.
Put your thoughts into words and
Get up out of your head.
You know what you shoulda said...

Yeah but it’s too much in the moment.
My mind goes blank and my heart starts running.
I stand there quietly and wait another minute
then a minute goes by and I still said nothing.
Are you kidding me? What is wrong with me?
I can see but not become who I long to be.
I need a longer reach so I can reach in deep
And find a better me hiding deep inside of me.

Just wanna say goodbye. It’s been a long time coming.
3, 2, 1, I’ma hit the ground running.
I’ma never looking back. Cannonball! Bout to jump in
Or I’m bound to do nothing.
Just gonna say goodbye. Up on a whole new summit.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Opportunity? Come in.
If I think about it without acting then it’s nothing.
So I’ll act on something.

Now I know I’m bound to go around my head
And back and forth and back again. It’s just the way that it is.
Although it’s getting me dizzy and a little bit sick
I like the feeling of busy. But the riddle of it
is tell me what do you call
somebody so uplifting that it leads to their downfall?
You’re listening to him right now. What people wanna see as the better part of me’s got me tied down.
You tell me that you want me to believe that
I shouldn’t make a scene. Well I’m struggling to see that.
Be who you wanna be. Well I’m struggling to be that.
I’m lost in a sea of thoughts... Can you believe that?
Yeah. It’s a little too late.
People know me. They expect me to be this way.
Change is a funny thing. A Normal part of life.
Why’s it gotta be so hard when it happens all the time?

But…. Yeah. I don’t wanna face it now.
I don’t wanna show my face in the middle of the crowd.
Now... what about laying low?
No! Stand up. How else they gonna know?
Just... just do what is right.
This is black and white.
Get up out of your head.
I already told you what you shoulda said!

Slow it down. I gotta think about it. But do it now in
My head.
Like a Rosie I’ma ring around it. We falling down in
My head.
People tell me I should write about it, an episode in
my head.
But the more I go and think about, I’m Overloading
My head.

credits

from Professional Development, released February 3, 2024
Lyrics written by Matt Jurasewicz. Audio recording by Matt Jurasewicz. Composed and produced by Matt Jurasewicz.